“You Cant Always Get What You Want, But If You Try Sometime

..You just might find, you get what you need.”

Words sung by the beloved Rolling Stones.

Can’t  speak of them without paying homage to them, now can I?

I did not take this photo, although it would have been pretty cool if I had.

Not sure there is anyone out there who hasn’t sung that  tune under their breath at some point or another to themselves or directed at someone else.   I think I walked away from my kids on numerous occasions hummin’ the tune.   It’s easy to sing it about someone else but it stings when you have to sing it to yourself.

There are definitely some things that I want.  I want real bad.  And it has become obvious to me that I (and our society as a whole) have a hard time differentiating between  wants and needs.  I say “need” a lot.    I need to take a shower.  I need new sheets.  I need to eat dessert.  I need to cut the grass. I need to comb my hair.  I need to hem my pants.  I need to buy more spatulas to add to my other 5 because I may need to flip 6 things at once.    These aren’t real needs, are they?   I think we say “need” to convince ourselves of the urgency of our wants.  We learn when we are toddlers to interject  that urgent word to be taken seriously.  I NEEEEEED that cookie!!!!!!

Ok.. So what do I want so badly today?  MILK!!!!!  I know I don’t NEED milk because I have gone 7 years without it and have felt great.  In fact, I have felt better living without it than living with it.  But my mind has convinced me that I need it.  I yearn for it.  The honest truth is I would love a tall glass of cold, cold milk.  I miss it.  And I’d like to see it in my life again.  No big deal.  So why have I gone to such great lengths to touch it to my lips again?  Maybe I’m OCD.  Who knows.

I cannot tolerate cow dairy.   I figured that out 7 years ago.  Felt sick from it for 30 years prior to the discovery.  But, hey, who’s counting?   When we bought the property 5 years ago, I began planning our dairy goat venture.  5 years of research led me down the road to buying 3 goats.  2 does and 1 buck.  I had the set up for many years of milk production to fill my tummy with yummy thick 6.5% butterfat milk.   COULD NOT WAIT.  Got the girls pregnant.  Waited patiently, then impatiently for many more months than it should have taken for these little kiddies to be born.  The day arrived.

I began milking the two does several weeks ago.  Between the two of them I got about 6 ounces.  Ok.  That’s ok, I thought.  We’ll get there.  I brought the milk in, strained it, plunged it in ice water then stuck it in the fridge.  I am a huge advocate of raw milk.  Many medicinal qualities and unbelievable amount of nutrients that are killed through pasteurization.  (I will tell that story another day). I wanted those nutrients.!!!   I wanted my body to feel what it was like to have those intense nutrients.  The milk tasted U.N.B.E.L.I.E.V.A.B.L.E.

Two days into the milking, I began to get the same symptoms that I get with cow milk.  Respiratory infection symptoms.  By the way,  this has nothing to do with raw milk.  I got the same symptoms from pasteurized milk.  There is enough difference in goat milk and cow milk I was hoping that difference was going to be the difference for me.

I have “leaky gut syndrome”  (I know, sounds gross.)  which is where the intestinal wall is weak in some places and undigested proteins from foods leak out into the blood stream and poison the body.  The intestinal wall can heal and people can resume foods but mine must not be healed completely.  And may never.    Lots of foods can do this and manifest itself in many ways in the body creating symptoms of illness that may not seem related to food.  We think that all food problems will only be felt in the stomach.

Our bodies can be compromised and weakened by many things we consume.  Processed foods.  Chemicals.  Alcohol.  Sugar.  Gluten.    And then, if compromised, the foods that can wreak havoc are corn, gluten, dairy, tomatoes, and nuts.  Probably meat for some people.  Things that are more complicated in nature that take extra time,  energy  and enzymes to digest.

So……. I have 6 goats.  And I can’t drink the milk.  Got goats?  Got milk?   Yes.   And since I haven’t gotten more than 6 ounces at a time and everyone else here can drink cow dairy, I am baggin’ the dairy thing.  (I think…)  I am very disappointed as I have spent an enormous amount of time learning, dreaming,  planning, etc.  and I am at a loss.  I feel really sad that I didn’t get what I want.   My plan did not work out.  Maybe I shouldn’t put so much stock into “my” plan.   My warped mind still keeps trying to figure this out.  I think, surely, I can get this thing to work in my favor.  When you spend so much time working toward something it should work, right?  That’s what I think.   But I’m afraid it is not to be.

But I always get what I need.  Thank God for that.

God bless,

Karen