What Now, Brown Cow?

Happy New Year!

It became ver clear to me early on in this season that blogging was going to have to be place aside.  I just remembered yesterday that I had a Christmas stick sitting in my living room and gunk sitting on all my tables that really shouldn’t be sitting there anymore.  I think I have mentioned more than once that I am just coming around to the idea of this season, but I don’t know if I will ever understand the idea of redecorating my house for two weeks and then undecorating my house.  I like my 50 week things better than my 2 week things. It always makes me feel resentful that I have to put away stuff that I like.  I love putting up my manger scene and Christmas in the city that my kids gave me over the course of 25 years, which is stunning.  I want to live in that city.

The church reminds me of the tuppins song on Mary Poppins.  I even have a lady outside the church with her bird cages.  The whole city is a reflection of all  the childhood Christmas’ of my boys.  They were so excited for me to open up the piece they carefully selected for me.

So, that’s all over now.  Whew.  Not the childhood thing.  The Christmas stuff on my tables thing.

I do like to reflect as a new year begins.  But I also know that God gives us the opportunity to “begin again” each and every day.  Or really each and every moment.  I can make the decision each moment to make the next moment  different.  For the better, I hope.  Sometimes I start  wasting away my new years  resolution and think, oh well,  I will just start again in the new year.  It may be March when I say that.   Ooooookkkkkkk.  What happens between March and December?  The license to ignore my responsibility to myself, others and God?   Now, that’s what I call rational thinking.

I don’t believe making resolutions about weight loss, quitting a vice, exercising are bad things.  Or silly.  For me, my health is really important.  I can not perform the mission He has for me here if I am not taking good care.  He has intstilled in us gifts, skills, and talents that He expects us to take out into the world to share with others.  And to inspire each other to grow.  And to help us all grow closer to Him.  I like that.  I want to be a part of that.  I want to be part of solutions rather than be part of  problems.  In order to do that I must feel good enough to get my lazy rear out of bed in the morning.

But… the one thing that has become so very clear to me is I cannot make those resolutions without asking God to help me.  In my experience, when I have resolved to do something and I have not included Him in my plan, it is like blowing smoke into thin air.  That was the first 40 years of my life.  Man, my wheels were spinning.  Yeah, I was getting things accomplished, but was I growing?  Was I getting rich (figuratively)?  Was I getting HAPPIER?  Was I changing for the better, or was it always status quo?  I hear a collective NO.  I think we are here to get better  and better and BETTER AND……  I grew tired of myself.   We like when we are impressed by  others, right?  How ’bout gettin’ impressed with ourselves….but then give the credit to God.  Cause without him, well…..

When I was 40, I knew I needed to change for the better.  I needed to put down  alcohol.  I had tried for years.  Like 25.   It was new years.  I made a resolution.  The difference from years past?  I asked God for help.  It worked.  I haven’t drank, drunk, drinked alcohol for 12 years, Jan 7.    SOO glad.  So,  the next year rolled around.  I was a smoker.  I thought, “Wow, that was cool.  I think I’ll try this again.”  I haven’t smoked for 11 years, Jan. 7.  His presence became so evident to me because when I asked for help, He was there.  When I didn’t, He was not.  A relationship ensued and I haven’t looked back.

My whole point is,  we can make resolutions,  as many as we may try,  but bottom line we cannot sustain them without Him.  My story has such a before and after evidence of proof,  that in my life, I do not doubt and will not doubt.  Since I invited that Divine Power in my life, my life has been full to the brim with joy and my heart full.  For 12 years, this coming January 7th.

I am in love.

New Year’s Day Sunset. A new beginning.

God bless,

Karen