A Lesson From Someone Who Has Been There

Take in this scenario and try to imagine your feet standing in these shoes:

You are born by two parents who have no qualms about telling you they don’t want you.  They neglect and take advantage of you by getting you drunk and high by the age of 7.  They are never there to tend to your needs at home.  They use you as a ticket to get in places they do not belong.  You develop drug and alcohol dependency by the age of 12 and enter into rehab twice by the time you are 14.

Enough?

This is the life of Drew Barrymore.  I saw an interview last night that I am still thinking about.   I have always known who she is but have not really given her a second thought.   What I know of her is that she might be a little flighty,   is nice enough and has had some hard knocks.   For those of you who do not know who she is, she became famous in the movie ET in the 80’s.

Photo from interview

Seems normal enough. huh?  Is going to court at the age of 15 to get “emancipated” from your parents normal?   The courts granted that freedom.  She no longer had to be the daughter of these people.  She always knew from day one that it was she that was going to have to care for herself.  That is tough business.

Whew.

What I am so bowled over by, is what she did with that history of abuse and neglect.   Most of us are not too different from she.  While I never was taken to Studio 54 at age 7 as a ticket to get my mom in, I was left at Glendale shopping center for 3 hours after my mom said she would pick my up.  I was 20 years old when that occurred.  She just forgot me.  Oh, and my Mom and Dad went to New York during my 10th Birthday.  Ugh.

But seriously, we  all have wounds. Wounds. Wounds.  Some of us are aware of them.  Some of us choose not to be.  But those wounds mold us if we allow them to.   It makes us who we are.   Or aren’t.

If  I allow myself to live with the wounds, then I become one, some or all of the following:  sad, lonely, self-loathing, cynical, brash, angry, fearful of many things, isolated, depressed,  self loathing,  cheated, slighted, etc.   It WILL take shape  because we have been hurt and we will protect ourselves at all costs.

If I choose to face my wounds, I can be free of all that.    How do I do that?  In most cases, mine included, it usually involves outside help.  An objective perspective.   It often takes the help of an outsider to help us even recognize the wounds.  They are sometimes so ingrained and part of our fiber that we think that it is normal.   Something is wrong if we are the things mentioned above on a regular basis.  Of course it takes heavy-duty strength to move our pride aside to admit that we are  any one  of those things.  Cynical. Who moi?  No way.  It is a process whereby we admit.  Then accept.  Then take action.

Drew Barrymore, I am sure, has had her share of outside help.  She chooses to not go that route of being emotionally tortured inside.   She chooses freedom.  YEAH.  I heartily applaud her.

She has admitted  the problem.  She accepted that problem.  Now she is  choosing not to spend her life blaming and finger-pointing and being angry.   She is taking action to choose a life rich and happy.  She just first had to come to grips and understand how she got to the place she is and then moves on to a road of freedom.

WE HAVE THE POWER.  To live life joyfully.  WE HAVE THE POWER.  To change ourselves.  NOBODY CAN MAKE US BE THE WAY WE ARE.   

We have the power.

You have the power.

Oh, and by the way, God plays a major part in healing.  Just ask Him.  In this case, He’ll say,”Yep, she’s right on this one.”

Sunny days ahead.

God bless,

Karen